Saturday, 25 August 2012

My Thoughts: My friends are my estate.

A quote by Emily Dickinson one i believe to be very true.

Certainly the last few days have highlighted to me the importance having a good friend especially those who are loyal to you who stand by you no matter what and are there for you.

I recently got back in touch with a friend after over a year without contact (which is my fault but they don't hold it against me)

Having struggled with this I turned to this friend and said I feared a depressive episode if my mood did not pick up soon, I showed them this post and said this was likely the trigger. They told me what I needed to hear and did so in a such way which was honest but not harsh, helpful not dismissive and gave me genuine hope not false hope where if I make the effort it will turn out okay.

It is something of a step for me to reach out and say to someone I was struggling with something thus things were not good for me. Usually I don't I tend to slog on alone despite me saying to others who are struggling they ought to enlist the help of those who care about them (making me a hypocrite).

Why don't I take my own advice? From past experiences more often than not it seemed easier to cope alone for varying reasons the main ones being either the people you know are not supportive or you feel like a burden to those who are supportive (“they got problems of their own they don't need me bringing mine to them” a particular train of thought for me) and of course its easier to give out advice/suggestions as well offering others support as a way of forgetting about yourself for the time being.

At first I pondered about even talking to this friend as we only just got back in touch I partly felt it would be inappropriate to do so however they did tell me in no uncertain terms they are here for me if I need them...and I did need someone so I took the opportunity.

Thanks to this friend my mood has lifted and the potential episode is gone knowing I have this person back in my life gives me some reassurance for whatever episodes may occur in the future (winter in particular I’m not dreading for the first time depression usually regards my mind as something of a winter retreat).

So now its just the minor matter of not sabotaging this friendship, something I did before.

Saturday 25th August the journey continues.

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