Sunday, 1 April 2012

My thoughts: Day 32 of depressive episode; The week that was.

It began so well as I got a good score for my latest assignment and the selection day for the volunteer organisation could not have gone better...or so I thought. After five hours of various discussions, activities and finally a interview I was confident I would be invited for the initial training, in fact I expected to be invited.

The phone call came a couple of hours after and I was informed they would not be inviting me for the initial training as the they unanimously agreed I was not ready just yet and I probably would be in 12 or 18 months time, they want me to re-apply then.

At the moment this is a lifetime away as I face a confidence crisis, in addition that week I failed a telephone interview for a job and got a rejection email for another, the email one stinging a bit more as it me informs my application is unsuccessful at the current time as they have other applicants who fit their criteria better than me, for a fucking warehouse job!

Resigned to staying unemployed for the foreseeable future although I will keep trying the enthusiasm for job hunting is gone, in fact my enthusiasm for anything is gone I don't want to even try anything anymore, because (and this question must be one of, if not the most, asked among those of us struggling for whatever reason) what is the point?

In all this negativity often whatever good things might be happening can get swept aside or just don't have much influence on me, as I said at start I got a good score for my assignment with the Open Uni, that’s something at least.

1st April the journey continues.

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